Hi Im Tiana and I have been on a life long journey of soul evolution. This calling to understand myself has been stronger than anything else in my life and has taken me allover the world in search of healing and understanding.
I started this awakening when I hit my Saturn return at age 27, and I have been guided purely by intuition ever since. For the past decade I have dove into my own healing trying and testing tools to release insecurities, remember my past, become self aware, heal my ancestral karma, awaken my divine feminine, heal my childhood, heal the relationship with my mother, remove blockages, reprogram limiting belief systems, change my perspective, clean my aura, attract better people in my life, create the life of my dreams, have inner peace and give back to the world.
This has been my goal and I traded stability for chaos, a relationship for “personal development”, a son with a normal upbringing for life and “world experience”, good friends in exchange for “good lessons” and comfortable for “uncomfortable”.
It all started in a moment that I remember very well as a mystical experience. I was living a conventional life, I had a house, I had a boyfriend, I had a job and a son. I had just turned 27 years old. There was a pattern I started to recognize with all the boyfriends I had. They seemed to be the same “guy” just with a different face and they were all telling me the same things, my issues, the ones I didn’t want to hear. One day during an argument with my than boyfriend everything became quiet and dream like and I floated above our bodies and watched us arguing from above, only it wasn’t his face it was mine, it was two of me arguing with myself. In that moment I came back to my body and thanked him for being my teacher. I had realized that everything I didn’t like, I had created, that everything in him existed in me and that he was my mirror, mirroring all the things I didn’t want to see. But most importantly I realized I had major issues and I needed major help! This was a huge awakening moment for me and it’s what started a journey of world travel and explorative healing that hasn’t stopped since.
My first stop was Hawaii which is where I worked on all the basic surface gunk. Meditation was my tool because I didn’t have a teacher or anyone guiding me so I did what the Dalai Llama did and meditated from 4am to 8 am every day for 8 months straight. I also changed my diet, went fully plant based, did juice cleansings, detoxes, colon cleansings, body work, lots of nature medicine, lots of crying and lots of reading and writing. After two years in Hawaii I began having visions of meeting someone that I would be working with who was a spiritual leader, we would be traveling and living in the mediterranean.
I was called to LA by intuition and pretty much upon arriving met that person and we started a world tour called “Heal the Country Heal the World” Turkey, Israel, Spain, Italy..all mediterranean countries and more, we went everywhere for 4 years. This is where I went deeper into my healing, by this time I would say I was in high school as far as my awareness level was, very un evolved, un aware and lots of pain. If you met me you would have no idea because my personality is professional, classy and fun but I was very much following my path of healing and I turned everything into sacred tools. I sort of developed a drinking problem while living in Europe. I would drink wine every night, I was at dinners, gatherings and events constantly. There was no time for serious relationships on the road so I had many casual ones and lots of sex. The lots of sex part ended up being one of my greatest healers and opened up so many parts of me I didn’t know were there, released blocked energy, released emotional wounds and helped me face insecurities, the dating once again became a big teacher. I got the message from spirit that alcohol was holding me back and I kept getting this message but I decided to try and negotiate with them so for a couple years I drank less and got more control but they kept telling me its poison and that Im allergic and I can’t connect with my higher self like I want to with the poisons in my body. So i separated from this spiritual business partner of mine as the time had come and I left Europe and was sort of randomly pushed to South East Asia (although nothing is ever random as we know)
Bali, awe…I feel peace. And the spirits were right, alcohol was poison for me. What! there’s still more healing to do?? Im not finished? Im exhausted!
Bali and Thailand where I lived back and forth is where I went deep into my ritual practice and balance. I always did rituals, even in my twenties, even in hawaii while crying and even in Europe, but here in South East Asia, after all the healing and body free of toxins these rituals became a spirit of their own. Living in Buddhist environments reminded me to be present, that everything is sacred and being present is actually how we are able to consciously choose our thoughts and choose our reactions and perspectives.
One day while living in Thailand I got a message on facebook from a girl who said she thinks she is my sister. I had never heard of this girl but I knew my fathers name and that he had cheated on my mother so she left and took me away from him. I knew he was a selfish man with a drug problem and my mom was protecting me but I did not know who my father was, who his family was and where did we come from. This girl, my sister had photographs of me as a child, letters my father had written and told me they hired a private investigator to find me but since I changed my name it was very hard. She was indeed my sister and not only did I have her but I had another one as well and they are wonderful. The first thing I asked her is where are we from? What is our nationality? As a girl who went my entire life without even seeing a picture of my father, you can probably guess I had major identity issues. And what happens when we don’t know ourselves or don’t like ourselves, we create false made up ones. I would never guess in a million years when she told me that our father was Native American from Creek tribe. My little fragmented soul had come together. I literally cried for the next couple months. Heartbroken that I never got to meet him before he died, happy that I was loved and they looked for me, and so grateful and happy to get two new sisters who are lovely and beautiful and we share so much in common. It was a sealing and closure, the biggest one of my life.
So I followed the signs carefully which is definitely not easy when your in it but I ended up back in LA and now present day moment smack in the middle of the desert and lands of my American Indian Ancestry in the Mojave desert getting a strong signal from plants and herbs, plant medicines in particular and Ill be in this chapter watching how things unfold. Currently interested in my ancestral karma, herbs, art healing, plant medicines, and my Native American ancestors so I’ll be talking a lot about these things here on the blog. If you resonate with my story I would love to connect. Peace